We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
