I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
