She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
