You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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