Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
