hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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