No awkward lesbian experiences without me
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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