one two three fourrrrnication!
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
