Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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