Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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