You're a womanizer and a bitch.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize