I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
