Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
