no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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