Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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