"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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