Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
