Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
