Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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