Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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