it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
