having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
