Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize