not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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