I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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