When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
