i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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