I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
