I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
