Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize