I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
