So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
soo... how was my night?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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