Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
