You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
