Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just googled if crying burns calories
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
