If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize