He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
