i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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