We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
