I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
