I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
