HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
