We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
