I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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