love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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