Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
