Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
They should really pass out barf bags in church
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
