We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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