if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
