the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
