Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
