epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
