Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
