i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
