I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
