don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
