Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
