No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
