i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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