I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
