Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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