My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
