please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
