My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize