just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
