I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
