I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
