My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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